I'm a 26 year old female (by both biology and psychology). I have poured countless hours into rope bondage, erotic photography, and many corners of the BDSM playground. Most of the time, the idea of throwing genitals into the mix kind of freaks me out. And so this is where I find myself, writing about my experiences as a gray-a kink practitioner. How the hell did I get here?
It's only been within the past several months that I began identifying as gray-a, or asexual-ish, though it's been a long time coming. With very, very few exceptions, my sexual interest in partners has tended to drop off pretty quickly. Unsurprisingly, this phenomenon has resulted in much hurt, confusion, heartache and compromise. I'll spare the details for now, but I've tried a whole slew of approaches to coax, cajole, trick, allow, or otherwise get my sex drive back into the range of "normal." No dice. These days, I don't experience much in the way of sexual desire with partners at all. It seems simple enough.
But once you take genitals out of the picture... game on, baby! I love erotic energy. Pushing tension back and forth, physical and emotional challenges, the rush of racing right to the edge. I love connecting with others in this realm, taking them intense and exciting places, or being taken there by others. All of the fiery passion that others seem to feel for sex, I feel for BDSM play.
It's been a bumpy ride, and I'm surely not past all of the curves I'll face. I'm hoping that this outlet will give me a means to explore places that I've been, and places that I'm going. I also write with the goal that it might give some hope, comfort, or sense of fellowship to others going through a similar journey. So here I am.
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