Flipping Sexual Switches

Tromping around in the world of erotic asexuality has given me a fascinating window into the world of sexual switches- both mine and others'.  Though erotic and sexual energies are pretty closely linked for most folks, interactions with me often lead to people learning more about where those aren't inherently linked for them.  It's in those places where we often find out shared playground.

Those activities which are inherently sexual for somebody can be widely varied, and are not necessarily what one would expect.  It might be cuddling in a certain way.  It might be playing with a certain spot on one's body.  For me, kissing is one of those unlikely sexual switches.

I can kiss and lick and bite somebody's body in a wide range of non-sexual situations, but for whatever reason, kissing on the lips is extremely sexual for me.  Aside from quick hello-goodbye pecks, my attempts to kiss or make out with folks to whom I wasn't sexually attracted have always been pretty uncomfortable and unintuitive for me.

I had it pointed out to be before I was even aware of it.  A couple of years ago, I had a brief foray with a kink-friendly guy.  We knew it we didn't fit into one another's lives in any sort of a long-term way, but we both had about six weeks in Colorado before we went off on our respective adventures.  With this context, we had a fun couple of weeks hooking up.  As we talked about our sexual experiences, both with each other and in the past, he commented once how he was having to relearn much about how to interact with somebody in order to hit my buttons and sweet spots.  The user guide to how to interact with me was apparently wildly different than that of any other women he'd been involved with.  One thing that he specifically cited was how much less interested I was in kissing than anybody he'd known.

Until that point, it wasn't something I'd ever noticed.  Once it was pointed out though, I realized how true it was.  In the years since, it's become even more obvious how much kissing is a sexual activity for me.  I love a deep kiss with somebody that I'm sexually into.  Still, in the same way that sex happens for me in but a very limited set of contexts, kissing is but an occasional endeavor for me.