I'm not new to the use of awkwardness as a social strategy. I never really figured out how to do the small talk thing. After many years of crushing social awkwardness, I finally figured out how to spin it in a way that was entertaining. Yay, social success!
What is new for me is publicly identifying as asexual-ish. In doing so, I also gave myself license to be the most spectacularly awkward person- ever, pretty much- when talking about sex. Complete with flailing. Complete with extended pauses and unconventional language. And complete with air humping, for when flailing just isn't adequate.
I don't viscerally get sex in the way that it's usually talked about. I mean, I get the mechanics of it, but I don't hear about something and think, "Oh yeah, that sounds like something that I'd like to try!" In the past, I've either done mental gymnastics to relate conversation back to sex in a way that I do understand, or more often, just nodded along. Oh yeah. I totally get it. Uh huh. Super hot. Definitely.
No more! I came to own my social awkwardness, and so I've come to own my sexual awkwardness, too. So bring on the sexy conversation. I know what to do now!
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